Dave Alpert: I Know Where You’re Going with That

Earlier today, I decided to check my SPAM folder, just to make sure.  One caught my eye.  It was from a woman at the Boston Phoenix.  This must not be SPAM, I thought.  I have to rescue this email from its terrible fate.  Unfortunately, I discovered that my spam filter’s aim was true!

I received an email from a probably very nice unassuming unpaid intern named Kurston Melton with the email handle “MarketingIntern3@phx.com”.  Feel free to contact her as she is clearly a public figure and well on her way to rising to the top in a dying industry.  After identifying herself (in the name of full disclosure) she continued, “I thought you may be interested in a recent article highlighting Boston hot spots for those of us with two left feet.”

Now, I have never subscribed to a Phoenix mailing list in my life, and I certainly didn’t identify myself as rhythmically-challenged.  I guess it’s that I’m a blogger, so they consider me a “media connection”.  Still, are they so hurting for eyeballs that they have a battalion of marketing interns churning out SPAM emails like “Hi, I’m Mary. Remember me?”  to trick unsuspecting Bostonians to click links and convince their advertisers that there is one reason in hell to give them money? C’MON!!!

Well, obviously you wanted me to pass on the info on via my blog.  I am happy to oblige! Welcome to the cruel world of 2010.  I’m so glad you could join me here…

Hi Kurston, I just wrote a blog post about interns blasting SPAM emails to try and inflate web traffic, and I thought you may be interested!

You can say that again…

Seeing this almost inspired me to plan a cross-country trip to vandalize every Love ST in the country.  Well done… whoever you are.

Whenever you put yourself out there, you’re taking a risk.  If you are a performer, musician, artist or writer, you come to expect harsh criticism, snarky comments, mean-spirited rumors, etc.  Still, you rarely expect to have your life threatened.  Death threats are generally reserved for popes, presidents and high profile superstars.  As a performing musician, I’ve never felt threatened.  There have been a few times when I’ve had to duck out of the way of a fight in progress.  In a bar or rock club, you expect to see more of that–fueled by drugs, alcohol and jealousy.  Ironically, I’ve only felt threatened while blogging in coffee shops.

The first time was when I brought attention to the Boston Chargers scam–first with this article and then this one.  Eventually, Fox 25 News broke the story with this report.  Still, I had received some emails and comments not-so-politely requesting that I stop writing  And given the outpouring of emoton on my blog and emails I received after the Fox 25 report, it was abundantly clear that team members and people involved were following the posts and comments all along.

Today, as I sat here trying to decide on the topic de jour, it presented itself in the form of a 375 lb guy brandishing a knife.  He started opening the blade as he approached me, but suddenly stopped a few feet away and said, “Wanna buy it?”  Then, he approached two girls sitting at the next table as I got up to alert the manager.  He left.  Apparently, we weren’t the first because as the manager ran out the door to find the guy, he found the man surrounded by police near the corner of Huntington Ave.

I said to a friend, “Doesn’t he know I love homeless people?”

He just replied, “Or that you can’t afford a knife?”

Ha ha.

I think I’m going to stick to dive bars and rock music.  It’s too dangerous out here!

Dave Alpert (Dave, Rob, Mariana, Chris and Mark) is in the running for “best emerging artist 2009″ in the Deli Magazine, a cool region-based online music magazine.  Please take a moment and lend us your support.  It literally takes than 30 seconds.

Here’s what you do:

1. go to http://newengland.thedelimagazine.com/

2. find the list on the right site of the page.  You’ll see “Dave Alpert”.

3. click the ‘vote’ button at the bottom of the entire list.

4. vote for us

Thanks for all the love in 2009.  We look forward to rocking you in 2010!!!

Peace,
Dave, Rob, Mariana, Chris and Mark

It’s so crappy that the creative group at Hollister can’t even convince itself to hire a professional copywriter.  They are looking for an unpaid intern to churn out “various collateral pieces, including brochures, letters, and e-mail newsletters”.  Awesome.

We’re all I’m doomed!

Will work for food!

As I was walking down the alley between Boylston Street and Newbury, I heard screams.  On Gloucester St, I found dozens of half-naked santas, elves, and reindeer running down the street.  I captured them–as well as my finger–in these photos…

HAPPY HOLIDAYS BOSTON!!!

I rarely speed.  It’s not that I’m particularly law abiding or that I’m intentionally conserving fossil fuels.  It’s partially that  I know the extra 10 mph won’t make much of a difference in my drive time.  But, mostly, it’s that as a freelance writer, I am constantly broke.  So, I can’t afford a moving violation (or even a parking ticket for that matter).  Now, because I do drive the speed limit, I am keenly aware of all the super agressive driving around me.  At times, I’m even the victim of that agression.  So, I wasn’t surprised when a guy came whipping up behind me in the slow lane on Soldier’s Field Road, made an aggressive move to get around me, shot me a dirty look and then sped far ahead.  However, I was a little surprised and particularly amused that the guy was driving a Toyota Prius.

It would seem to me that the main reason people buy hybrid cars is for the better gas mileage.  The reasons people want better gas mileage is to reduce their “carbon footprint” and cut costs.  Many of my composting, recycling, solar panel owning, MASSPIRG volunteering friends drive them.  Anyway, it got me thinking about whether an aggressive hybrid driver is more damaging to the environment than a non-aggressive driver of a regular car–thus my amusement.

 VS
Ford Focus                                                                  Toyota Prius

After researching a little bit, I was delighted to find this Edmunds article discussing fuel efficiency.  According to their test results, non-aggressive drivers save 31% on milieage on average; non-speeders save an additional 12%.  So, the Prius guy that slammed on his brakes, whipped around me and then stepped on the gas again potentially burns over 40% more fuel while only saving about 20% due to the environment friendliness of his car.  Thus, the guy may still burn 20% more fuel than a guy with a regular old Ford Focus or something. 

The author of the article even mentions hybrids in discussing the results:

Our tests showed that the most significant way to save gas is: you. And we’re talking massive fuel economy gains. Think you need a hybrid? Chances are you’ve got hybrid-style mileage in your gas pedal foot.

Attention Mr. Fancypants Prius driver: Greenpeace wants their membership card back!

Scene: Chris and Dave finish a song and a large Irishman approaches the stage with a piece of paper.

Irishman: Can you play the Plains of Kildare?

Chris: No.

Irishman: But this is an Irish bar.

Chris: But I’m Itailan and he’s Jewish.

Scene: Irishman rolls his eyes and walks away

Dave (in mic): An Italian and a Jew playing at an Irish bar… TROUBLE!

Scene: Dave and Chris play A New England by Billy Bragg

THE END 

Upcoming
The next chance to heckle this dynamic duo will be the first 3 Sundays in December at Toad in Cambridge, MA.  We’ll be playing with the full band, including Chuck Vath filling in on bass and backing vocals.  All shows begin at 8pm, right after Sunday Spins. No cover.  So, come early, spin some vinyl and hear us ROCK!

On Saturday, we played another rocking show with our friends–The Organ Beats, Gretel and Tommy Dempsey.  Thanks to everyone who came out and made it a really fun time and a great hang.  Here are some photos for your viewing pleasure.

Dave Alpert (aka me) backed up by Rob, Mark and Joe

Joe Klompus filling in ON HIS BIRTHDAY!!!

Reva Williams from Gretel sitting in on backing vocals

Rob wetting his whistle on stage.

Reva drinking on stage, seems to be a common theme.

Mark Purrington–our go-to guy when Shuffles can’t make the gig. ROCK!!!

this band rocks!

Come check us out in December at TOAD in Porter Sq.  We’re playing every Sunday (except the 27th) at 8pm with special guests performers and bands.  Come early with your favorite vinyl for Sunday Spins (3:30pm-7pm), and be primed and ready by the time we hit the stage.  Oh, and at TOAD, there is NEVER A COVER–EVER!!! 

Calling all Boston-area music lovers… This is going to be a great night of music with The Organ Beats, Gretel, Tommy Dempsey and Dave Alpert!

Saturday, November 14th, 9pm
Club Bohemia (Cantab Lounge downstairs)
21+. Tickets $8

Lineup:

9pm - Tommy Dempsey

10pm - Gretel

11pm - Dave Alpert

Midnight - The Organ Beats